If that was your dad, he is hot
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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