you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
