The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
