Your mouth is God's brothel.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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