LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
