Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We were destined to go to rehab together
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
