Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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