my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
