The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
