Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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