Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
