fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
