Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
