I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
