grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
