we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
