You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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