I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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