I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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