dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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