did you get engaged???
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
