I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Randomize
