What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my poor anus
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
