I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize