I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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