at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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