I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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