Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
operation harelip BJ is a go
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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