Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
