why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
