awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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