theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
