she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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