Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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