we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
