did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
