Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm really busy with my period
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