Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize