p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
