i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
