none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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