I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize