Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
