i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
