Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
