I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize