I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
