Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize