We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
