Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
