how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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