its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
