Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we're so committed to being not committed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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