what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
