I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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