He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
