Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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