I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
