I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
