Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
