Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
