Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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